Hey there,
This week I am finally penning down something I have been meaning to for over a year. Something that popped up and matured as an idea through discussion with multiple friends.
Anyway, it’s about the relation between Gratitude and (Constructive) Dissatisfaction. The latter may be replaced with “Ambition” but I feel Dissatisfaction is the more primal feeling/state, sort of a precursor to ambition. So I am using that term.
At first glance, the two seem to be opposing forces. It feels like gratitude harbors complacency by undermining the source of ambition—dissatisfaction. And conversely, dissatisfaction causes a person to tend to not be grateful about what they have.
However, this is a false dichotomy. We can be both grateful about what we have and dissatisfied about things that could be better. And one useful way to tackle it—as I see it and that my friends above agreed with—is to: Be constructively dissatisfied in the long run, but grateful in the day-to-day.
(Very Related: Lex Fridman’s advice to forever oscillate between dissatisfaction and gratitude).
That is: strive for higher ideals, goals in the longer term. (Re: Play the Long Game). Chart plans to move in that direction and actually do the work required. Be dissatisfied, not about being in a sub-optimal state (as you see it), but about staying in that state. However, in the daily trenches—where we actually live—lean towards being grateful. See more of the good.
Takeaway: Day-to-day, live in the bubble of gratitude; In the long run, let dissatisfaction guide you.
An Antidote to Dissatisfaction
Kurzgesagt | 10 mins
We are prone to dissatisfaction. About not being successful enough, not having good relationships, not having things we want... and so on. It fills us up with envy and disappointment. And in today’s day and age—with that pop culture that we have, with these windows to “perfect” things in our pockets, and even the self-help movements—it’s easier to fall into this feeling of not having enough, not being enough.
However, one antidote to this feeling—as determined by a lot of studies—is Gratitude. Now, I admit, this sounds clichéd. And the first reaction might be to roll one’s eyes. But I think that reaction is partly driven by the way Gratitude is handed to us—through authoritarian mandates, whether by parents, religious teachings, or in formal education settings.
If we are willing to give it a shot, and experiment a little, Gratitude seems to work. Personally, I haven’t managed to institute for myself a regular gratitude practice. Started doing some Gratitude Journaling, with a once-per-day frequency. It was working… for a week or so. But then, it became almost repetitive and the habit never got off. Looks like I need to experiment more about ways to integrate it into my life. For instance, once or twice per week seems to be better than trying it daily, which seems to be a known failure mode. Oh well.
Travel is No Cure for the Mind
Lawrence Yeo, MoreToThat | 15 mins
We have a strong ability to adapt to almost anything. This Hedonic Adaptation means that if we aren’t content with our “Box of daily experience”, if we try to look for happiness, satisfaction in some other external thing we might achieve, it’ll be short-lived. Soon enough, we will get used to it.
Same for travel. It can be great for a lot of things but for some fundamental discontentment, it is not a cure.
That feeling of restlessness underlying all the unresolved issues you have at home will follow you wherever you go. A strained relationship with your family, a sense of purposelessness in work, a low self-worth, a strong tension with your partner, a lurking depression — the answer to any of these things does not lie in a one-way ticket to a faraway place.
Basically, you cannot run from yourself.
Well then, what can you do?
Gratitude is what allows you to feel that same sense of wonderment about your day-to-day life as you would if you were walking the streets of a faraway city.
So, similar story here too: Gratitude is one of the best answers.
Life is a Picture, But You Live in a Pixel
Tim Urban, WaitButWhy | 6 mins
Similar narrative as the above about how eschewing our today and holding out for a perfect tomorrow is a recipe for disaster.
However, this framing also surfaces one obvious but key fact: we live in a pixel. That is: we live in the day-to-day. It is the only day/time we have direct access to. It is what counts!
Creative Thinking (Speech)
Claude Shannon | 15 mins
In this speech, Shannon goes over the traits that can help make a great engineer.
One aspect that stuck with me (obviously, given I am bringing it up here) was the bit about dissatisfaction:
Then there’s the idea of dissatisfaction. By this I don’t mean a pessimistic dissatisfaction of the world — we don’t like the way things are — I mean a constructive dissatisfaction. The idea could be expressed in the words, This is OK, but I think things could be done better. I think there is a neater way to do this. I think things could be improved a little. In other words, there is continually a slight irritation when things don’t look quite right; and I think that dissatisfaction in present days is a key driving force in good scientists.
Dissatisfaction can do and does wonders. It drives us forward on many fronts. (See: Stop Drawing Dead fish). However, it is not just scientists but also for the “common” person. It’s in the parent hoping to give their child a better future than they had, in someone working to overcome their circumstances, in our collective efforts to make this world a better place.
// Other Videos and Readings
How A Girl From A Remote Nepali Village Became a World-Class Trail Runner
The Way Of The Wildcard; Red Bull | 16 mins
So. Damn. Inspiring!
She overcame so many obstacles. Foremost: the huge limitations placed on women by our patriarchal society—even more pronounced in the rural areas.
Furthermore, she has a content aura about her and an infectious positivity. Observing her, one gets a glimpse of not only what not giving up and pushing through looks like but also a possible approach to life, a way of life.
Asides:
Perhaps she personifies the guiding principle we discussed above: of being grateful in the day-to-day whilst still letting dissatisfaction drive long-term goals.
Humans are built to run, for endurance. Our features (like having lots of sweat glands and no fur) allow us to go the distance on land better than almost all other animals.
Also stumbled upon the story of Cliff Young, an Australian potato farmer turned athlete who started competing in races at the age of 57. In 1983, at age 61, he entered and won the Sydney to Melbourne Ultramarathon running the distance of 875 kilometres (544 mi) 5 days straight with almost no sleep. Wow!
A Brief History of Typeface and its online evolution
Cameron Chapman | 8 mins
One thing I am repeatedly grateful for is to be able to write. I mean, not long ago, paper was a luxury here in Nepal. Perhaps in most of the world too. And for much of human history, people didn’t have access to a mechanism to pen down their thoughts.
And so, to have this infinite digital workspace to type out my thoughts, to play with them, to tinker them, to observe them, is something I cherish a lot.
Anyway, this essay is—as the title suggests—a brief walk through the evolution of the typeface which is fascinating: how it started out mimicking hand-writing, and then optimized for efficiency (italics was originally introduced to be space-efficient) and readability.
Also, check out this awesome animated video explanation on the topic.
(Aside: A neat tidbit is the origin of the terms “Uppercase” and “Lowercase” letters: in the print shops, they were literally/physically stored in upper and lower cases).
// Stories and Poems
Sort By Controversial
Slate Star Codex | 21 mins | Short Story
An interesting thought-provoking story about the (possible) current state of online interactions.
Shrinking Women
Lily Myers | 4 mins | Poem
…
and I wonder if my lineage is one of women shrinking,
making space for the entrance of men into their lives,
not knowing how to fill it back up once they leave.
…
Powerful. Poignant.
// Music
Silver Strings
Friends at Silver Strings released their new song this week. Check it out :)
Also, their other songs! My Fave.
Pumped Up Kicks (Medieval Style)
Looks like Bardcore has been on the rise these past months. And well, I am definitely up for it!
// Wholesome and Awesome
Closing Thoughts
Gratitude and Dissatisfaction is closely related to that which we desire, yet can be elusive and hard to pin down—happiness. But that’s something we can go over some other day ;)
Thank you for reading. Am truly grateful for it :)
See you next week.
Love,
Bijay
(P.S: A short poem I published this week).